


here's looking at you, kid

by sparkles321



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Brooklyn Nine-Nine RPF
Genre: Abandonment, Adoption, Angst, Daddy Issues, F/M, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, jake had a terrible childhood poor baby, jake peralta's tragic backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:42:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9193907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkles321/pseuds/sparkles321
Summary: Who would just abandon their kid? It's the question Detective Peralta asked himself years ago, when his dad walked out, and he finds himself wondering it again when a baby is left on the steps of the Nine-Nine's building. Whatever happens, he is not going to leave this kid until he's sure it's okay.*a closer look at Jake's childhood and how it will affect his career and life with Amy*





	1. boyle you're confusing chapter books with reality again

Jake Peralta is bored, and he's only been at work an hour. How can there be no new cases in a district the size of the 99? This is almost as bad as those six months in Florida. Oh, well, he'll just stealthily check his phone...he only needs to pass a few minutes and a new case will pop up. He's sure of it.

No service. _Dang it._

He heads outside to check his phone, mindlessly scrolling through memes and puppy videos. As he holds his phone one way, then the other, he hears a noise, and looks up. It sounds like a stray cat but louder, shrill  and insistent. He whirls around.

On the steps of the building is a shoebox, men's size twelve. There's a yellow blanket in the box.

He tilts his head. There's no one around, and that box wasn't there when he came in this morning. The noise comes again, and he steps closer and moves the blanket open.

Inside the blanket there is a crying baby.

"Oh, man," he says, staggering back a little. The baby stretches its arms to him and cries louder.

"Hey, uh, don't cry! Shhhh. Shh."

He picks up the box, baby and all, and carries it upstairs via the elevator. The baby shrieks the entire way, and all the detectives look up as the elevator doors open.

"This baby was on the steps outside," he says, holding the box at arm’s length as they all rise.

“Oh, my God,” Boyle shrieks. “This is just like that Bobbsey twin book, _The Mystery of Baby May_. Oh, this is so exciting. Of all the times for Captain Holt to be out. Jake, did you see any circus clowns outside?”

“Of course he didn’t see circus clowns,” Rosa snorts. “Someone left their kid here because they can’t take care of it, or they’re in trouble, or they’re just a crap parent.”

Santiago nods. “We need to find the mother if the baby is new. She must have had it without medical attention, and if the placenta hasn’t – “

Jake has stopped paying attention.  “Who would do that? Just abandon their kid, no note?”

Boyle rocks on his heels. “Maybe it wasn’t abandoned. Perhaps the parents were in a tight spot because their circus went bankrupt and then the father died in a fall from a trapeze and – “

“Shut up, Boyle,” Rosa snaps. “Jake, we need to take the baby to a hospital.”

“You think it’s fresh?” Jake asks.

Terry laughs kindly. “Jake, babies are ‘new’, not fresh. If you’re a godfather you outta know that. Is it a boy or girl?”

Jake moves the blanket more. The baby has stopped crying and watches him with wide eyes. “It’s a boy,” he says in sort of whisper. His mind is racing, back to a little boy with watery brown eyes arriving home to a cold note and house devoid of all his dad’s possessions.

“I’ll call the hospital,” Amy offers, interrupting his reverie.

“No!” he says, almost too quickly. “I’ll take him. It’s only two blocks, and I probably need to do reports and stuff since I found him.”

There is no way he’s going to say what he actually feels, how he will not let this little boy be abandoned into the cold hospital without a friend. This kid isn’t going to be left parentless. Jake Peralta will find someone to care for him, and in the meantime, he will be a stand in parent. Unconsciously, he clutches the box a little closer.

“Well, I’ll call so they can expect you,” Amy says.

“Thanks, babe!” he blows her an air kiss, to Boyle’s delight, and then heads back down the elevator, encumbered by the box.


	2. jake and his die hard love for all things die hard

In the examination room, the doctor checks for signs of exposure and takes the baby’s vitals. “He’s obviously new, maybe a day old? But he’s healthy, and certainly has a pair of lungs!”

Jake wants to learn all he can. Babies are a rarity for him and he likes to learn new things. “His eyes are so dark, and he’s very red. Is that okay?”

“Oh, that’s perfectly normal, Detective. In a few days, his eyes will change to their ‘official’ color. Caucasian babies are typically born with these dark, almost black, blue eyes. They’ll change soon, but that could be an indicator of his heritage if they need to track down his parents. And his skin is red because he’s new. I’d much rather it be red than jaundiced.”

“Oh, ok, ok, ok,” he says awkwardly, feeling like a total idiot.

A nurse changes the baby into a blue onesie and hands him to Jake, who is pleased to see that the crying stops when he holds the baby. “Awww, he likes you! I’ll send the social worker in to take your report. We’ve wasted enough of your time.”

When the nurse and doctor leave, it is just Jake and the baby waiting in a little room. “You need a name,” Jake informs the baby, who blinks at him.  The detective looks around for inspiration but sees nothing particularly name-y. “I can’t just call you ‘the baby’.”

There are children’s toys in the waiting area and one catches Jake’s eye. “Oh, that’s a Jacob’s Ladder. My name is Jacob- like the story from the Torah, y’know, a ladder between Heaven and Earth. We could give you a good Biblical name but they all seem a little stuffy.”

The baby just stares calmly while Jake thinks for a moment. “John,” he says at last. “After John McLane, the greatest cop ever, and Johnny from _The Outsiders_ , which is the only book I ever enjoyed reading in high school English.”

 ~~The baby~~ John seems to have no objection to this, so Jake entertains him with a dramatic retelling of the first (and best!) Die Hard. He’s just reached “Argyle, tell me you heard those shots!” when the caseworker enters.

“Well, the doctors have him cleaned up and he seems fine. He’s lucky to be alive, poor thing. Probably teenaged parents. I’ll take your report, and we will treat this as an abandoned baby case.”

Jake suddenly doesn’t want to hand her John. “I give my report and then what? What happens to him?”

“Foster-to-adopt parents love to get newborns, they feel like they really have a say in raising them. We’ve got a waitlist a mile long!” She laughs, but Jake doesn’t see the humor. He reluctantly places John in her outstretched arms and watches her deposit him in one of those odd, clear basinets hospitals keep babies in. He forces himself to look away and not think about his dad.

Once he’s filled out all the paperwork he thinks of a question. “His new parents, they’ll come today?”

“Hopefully, yes. It’s much less traumatic if they can stay with the same family as long as possible. Because you noted the child wasn’t left indoors, under the ‘safe child site’ sign, or at any designated safe site, this is an abandonment case. As an abandoned baby, even if the child’s parents are found, it’s unlikely they would be allowed to raise him. Now, for the rest of your report? You noticed no persons nearby that could have left the baby? What about security footage?”

“The camera for that section powered out overnight. Unfortunately, it is partly in an alley and our camera is the only one on it. It’s not like there are other businesses with cameras to pick up.”

“All right. And you found him with just the blanket and box? No note or even extra clothes.”  
“Yes. Whoever left him obviously wasn’t prepared for a baby, he had no clothes and the baby blanket is old, possibly the person who left him’s childhood blanket.”

“I see why you’re a detective,” she says with an enormous grin.

“Yeah,” he says uncomfortably. This little boy is about to go away with strangers and Jake will never see him again. For a wild moment, he wishes he and Amy could- but no. They have work, dangerous police work, and John would require lots of time off and constant care and both parents, together for dinners or something. He and Amy don’t even see each other some days. No, that plan won't work, but Jake isn't giving up. this kid will be okay.


	3. in which jake continues to bottle up his feelings

The social worker continues the questions. “And you don’t know of anyone who was pregnant that interacted with your detective squad? Maybe you helped a teen in trouble and they remembered how helpful you detectives were, so they left their baby with you?”

“No, I can’t really think of anyone.”

“Well, it looks like we don’t need anything else from you! You’re free to go, and we will place this little guy with a foster family!”

He rips the back page of a waiting- room magazine off and jots his number down in Sharpie. “If he ever, uh, wants to meet the guy who found him? I dunno, you see stuff like that on talk shows, y’know?”

“I’ll give it to the foster parents,” she chirps, and then there is nothing more for him to do but nod politely and walk out, down the hall and past the glass nursery window.

He stops to look for John in the nursery. There are lots of babies, all in neat rows with last names on the foot of the basinet. John is easy to find- he’s the only one without a last name.

 _John,_ he realizes suddenly. _They won’t call him that! I should tell someone about it. It’s the perfect name for him._

The door he just came through is locked- a sign reads employee badge only. He goes to press the call button and stops. What good will come of him bursting through the door just to tell the new parents a silly name? They will want to meet and name their own kid, without a random guy popping in to get all mushy.

He is angry, suddenly. How can he feel so much care and concern for this baby he’s known for two hours but his dad could walk out on him after seven **years**? How could this baby’s parents abandon him? What if the new foster parents are crap?

Two hours. Two freakin’ hours and he’s already attached. What did he do wrong? Why could his dad not love him enough to stay? Or at least call every now and then?

His phone rings and it is Amy. “Hey, if you’re done at the hospital do you want to get lunch? Boyle told me about a seafood place that sounds great. I can pick you up.”

‘’Yeah, uh, I’m just-“ He is at a total loss for words but  hopes she can’t tell. He doesn’t want to bother her with his weird daddy issues. So he holds the phone to his ear silently and waits for her to say something, anything. If anyone can calm him, it’s her.

John sees him standing on the other side of the glass and he waves a tiny fist.  Jake knows- well, he doesn’t know that much about babies but he’s pretty sure- they can’t recognize people if they aren’t even two days old but the thought that John might be, kind of, thanking him or telling him bye is too much and to his horror his eyes moisten.

“Jake?” Amy asks. “Jake, is everything okay? I’m outside the hospital.”

“No,” he says and corrects himself quickly. “I mean, yeah, yeah, everything’s great. I’ll meet you outside, just, uh-“

“You’re the world’s worst liar, Jake. I’m going to come in.”

He doesn’t know how she finds her way to the OB ward so quickly but she is there in less than five minutes, and he tries to play cool but there are tears running down his face too fast to wipe away.

She takes his arm and leads him to a hard plastic bench in the hall. “Jake, you’re scaring me. Please just tell me what’s wrong.”

It all spills out- naming the baby John, giving the social worker his number, and then feelings: the anger at his father and the concern he feels for John- and when he finishes he is exhausted and more in love with Santiago than before.

She is such a good listener, and she doesn’t force or dig for words. She just nods and smiles and looks happy or sad or concerned in all the right places.

Embarrassed at that sudden and massive display of emotion he wipes his face on his sleeve and hops up. “Well, let’s do lunch.”


	4. meet the parents

“Oh, Jake,” Amy begins, her hand on his arm, but she switches topics suddenly. “Hey, look! Do you think they’re the new parents? Would it help to talk to them?”

He raises his head. A couple is in the hallway looking in the nursery. They’re too young to be grandparents and too scared to be friends, and the social worker from earlier is buzzing around them with a clipboard but they ignore her to focus on John.

“Nah, Ames, I don’t want to bother them-“

“Oh, hon,” the woman tells the man. “Do you think the baby liked us?”

Amy propels Jake forward. The couple look up. 

“Um, hi,” Amy begins. “This baby was on the steps of our building, and Jake found him.”

Jake wants to melt into the floor, but instead of being upset, the lady smiles warmly. “Thank you so much! I can’t believe our new son already has so many people who care about him.”

The man sees their badges and shakes their hands. “Detectives, huh? I’m a retired combat MP myself. Thanks for your service.”

“You too,” Jake says, a little awed by a job even cooler than his. “I was glad to find John.”

They look confused and he hurries to explain about not wanting to just call John “Baby”.

The lady looks at the man again. “Your grandpa was named John, right? Maybe this is the answer to our naming dilemma.”

The man adds, “We couldn’t come up with a name to save our lives! Nothing seemed to fit him, but John is exactly right. Thanks, brother.”

 “No problem,” Jake manages.

“We’ve wanted kids for so long,” the woman says, aside to Amy. “I’m a kindergarten teacher, and I just get so attached to all of my students! I couldn’t wait for a child of our own! And now we have a son.”

Her husband, apparently not one for much emotion, nods and grins. “Well, we’d better get going. We live in the Catskills, and I don’t want to have to drive back in rush hour. Don’t know how you people drive in this every day.”

Then, to Jake, lowly –“Really, I can’t thank you enough for finding him.”

Jake feels relief surge through him. These people seem great, and he is happy for John. A mom and a dad, a home in the mountains where John can run around and grow up in the outdoors. It's more than he could have hoped.

“I’ll text you pictures,” the lady says impulsively, before they turn to go. “I know I would want to see how everything turns out, too.”

“That would be so cool,” Jake tells her sincerely, and she gives him an enormous hug that seems to say she knows how much Jake loves John.

“Nice meeting you. Have a great day,” Amy says, and when they turn down the hall and out of sight, Jake kisses her, right there in the bleak white hospital hallway.

“Jake-arg-people will stare-“ but she doesn’t pull away and when they separate, breathless, he tells her thank you.

“Uh, yeah, so, thanks for making me to talk to them. You were right.”

“What? You admit it? That’s a first,” she laughs, and takes his hand. “I think it’s great that you cared about John like that.”

“Sometimes I worry that I care too much,” he tells her seriously. “Gah, I’m still embarrassed about getting all worked up back there. Yeesh.”

“Jake, look at me. Neither of us could do our jobs if we didn’t really care about helping people stay safer. You and I both know the toll it takes on us sometimes, and I know we deal with it in different ways, but if we didn’t think of it as saving the world, one person at a time, I don’t think we could get through it.”

He grins. “I’d say you’re right again, but I like your head the size it is.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

He makes a mental note to ask Captain Holt what that word means, squeezes her hand, and follows her out into the sunshine. “NOW, let’s do lunch. I’m starving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE let me know what you think!! These characters are so awesome but sometimes they're hard to write. I love them so much and want to do them justice, so if something was great OR super-off, let me know!


	5. everything is sorta pretty and hurts slightly less

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, can't believe this is the last chapter! I have a horrid habit of drawing my stories out way too far, so I decided I had better limit myself to 5 chapters haha.

Boyle’s restaurant recommendation was perfect, but they must get it to go to make up for time spent at the hospital. So they hurriedly use their last few minutes in the break room to slurp it down. Jake is happily eating shrimp and grits and Amy gumbo when she cocks her head. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

He realizes there's grits all over his face and swipes with a napkin.“Yeah, I always make a mess when I eat. Sorry!”

“Not that, I mean about the whole baby thing. I’m really glad you found him, Jake.”

“Thanks. I’m fine though, really. I think it kind of helped even.”

“Helped with what?” She pushes back the paper plates and bowls and he smiles to see her organize the trash neatly.

“Well, I’m different from my dad. I did a good job with John. I did what was right for him.” He speaks like he's trying to reassure himself.

“ _Of course_ you’re different from your dad, Jake,” Boyle says, materializing from nowhere. “He’s scum! He’s trash, no, lower than trash! He’s the-“

“Private convo, buddy,” Jake says gently.

“Sorry, I just came to get more coffee and I – I- I’ll go.”

Amy laughs a little. “He has a point.”

“I guess I was always afraid I’d end up like my dad. I mean, I have no idea what to do with kids! Heck, I never had a dad to look to.”

“But you figured it out. You didn’t give up or walk out, and you where there when he needed someone.”

“Yeah,” Jake says, and he feels better. His fear is starting to slowly slip away. Maybe he’ll never fix things with his dad, but he will sure as hell not make the same mistakes. And he's not going to sit around wondering why his dad didn't want him. He's just going to know he is the better man. Jake watches Amy pile plates. “You sort the plates by color?” he queries.

“I need help,” she says, only half joking.

“You can let some things go, you know. You don’t have to control everything, it’ll be okay. The universe won’t explode.”

She beams at him. He brightens, ”But that would be cool, wouldn’t it? If you were the last member of a secret order keeping the universe together?”

“Ruining the moment, Jake.”

“Sorry, Ames.”

And in that one everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. Sure, Brooklyn was still dirty and crime filled and Roger Peralta was still a jerk and Scully and Hitchcock were trying to free their ties from their staplers, but Jake had Amy and Amy had Jake.  The 99 was saving the world, one person at a time, and Jake had just upped the people-saved chart by one.

They clocked back in and head to their respective desks. Jake shoots a rubber band at Terry’s bicep but it falls short, so he leans back at his desk chair to think. Something comes to his  mind from a long time ago, when he used to go to the synagogue with his mother and Bubbe. It’s the Hodu, a prayer of thanksgiving. He can’t remember it all but he whispers what he can and is thankful-  for Amy and John and Boyle, the best guy he knows, and the rest of the 99 , people who won’t leave when the going gets tough.

 _Wow. I'm getting really old and mature_ , he thinks proudly. Then he focuses on the newest case, which looks super cool _and_ super creepy, which is really the best kind. Maybe today he’ll get to crawl through an air vent in a skyscraper. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? I'm awful at endings, but any comments and or criticism is welcome!!

**Author's Note:**

> well? if you loved it or hated it I want to know!


End file.
